Sample Essay Writing Feedback Report
It has recently been suggested that the classical, or “dead”, languages Latin and Greek should be re-introduced into the school curriculum. Those that oppose the idea claim that the ancient languages are of no practical use and no help in getting a job. Those in favor of the idea say that education is more about training the mind than preparing for a career.
Which of these points of view do you most agree with? Support your argument, where possible, with reasons and/or examples from your own experience and observations.
Languages play an important role in our lives to communicate with each others. Old spoken languages(Duplication) are re-introducing(“are being Introduced”) in schools. While few are of the opinion that learning new languages(Duplication)will train students, and in this way, those languages will not dead(“will not die”), however, few refute this idea. These views will be weighed prior to reaching an informed conclusion.
To begin, being a bilingual will increase multi tasking skill in children and train their brain and make them more intelligent as compared to those who only knows(know) one language. As an example, In(Capital letter should only be used when writing a Name or when starting a new sentence. In this case, you should write “in” not “In”) early age children has more abilty(“ability”) to learn things .This is good idea(“This is a good idea”) to teach them ancient communication skills so(so that) their brain will be trained more for the future practical life. Hence, it is clear that learning new verbal skill is the good mental(is a good mental) excersise(exercise).
On the contaray (contrary), many oppose the idea(oppose to the idea) of including classical languages(Duplication)in school course(“school curriculum” suits better). For instance, not every(double space between words) student is genius and have ability to learn new things fast. By introducing new subjects as the part of their school curriculum is giving(will give them) them more burden. School should put these new courses as an optional whoever(optional and whoever is) interested to learn they can learn. Thus, it is evident that introduce(introducing) new lanuages(languages) as compulsory have negative effect on some student’s study.
After analzing(analyzing), both views, it is(it can be) concluded that implementing of new languages(Duplication)as the part of school curriculum not only give live(life) to dead languages, but also benefcial(beneficial) for mental excerises(exercises) for students. In my view, these languages should be optional so it will not give extra burden to weak students.
Essay Structure Assessment
You have committed a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Try improving on it. Essay structure is good, however examples are not effective and were unable to support the main idea. Conjunction words usuage was commdable. Conclusion was ended abruptly.